All-out Battle

I've been spending less and less time in my room and more time outside in my living room? Why? I'm litter box-training my rabbit. And it is the most annoying thing ever. Actually, no, that's a lie. The most annoying thing ever is that my rabbit pees and poos RIGHT outside his litter box. I swear, this long-eared furry bastard of cuteness is way cleverer than he pretends to be because I know in my pudgy gut that he's doing this out of spite. He is literally doing his number 1's and 2's only two centimeters away from edge of his litter box. Right now, those two centimeters are the bane of my existence.

So I've been spending the last few days sitting on the floor with Mr. McPooperson's (not his real name) cage right next to me. I've had him for almost two years now so I know the signs when he's about to pee. So my afternoons now consist of me watching Satan's Furball (should be his real name) at the corner of my eye, occasionally lunging into the cage, screaming, "NOOOOO!' and throwing him into his litter box.

People say that rabbits are fragile creatures and can actually die of fright. I'm not worried though. Knowing my relationship with the universe/God/life in general, I'm sure this rabbit has nerves of steel and will live a long, wallet-drying, life. How else will he continue to annoy me, pee outside his litter box, and chew through my favorite T-shirts?

However, to his credit, he does do his business in the cage and not on the carpet. And he's so incredibly cute that I think there should be an 11th Commandment about how it's a sin to be that cute. And sometimes he'll hop up to me and lick my knees. And he does this thing that my dog does that I love, where he'll push his little head under my hand because he wants me to pet him. And when he lays down, he doesn't actually lay down. It's more of him falling onto his side, and it's hilarious to watch.

Okay, I kind of love him. But it's love/hate relationship.